News of the Perfectly Ordinary

What to do when the governing interim military regime suspends the constitution and clamps down on freedom of the press? Start reporting on the perfectly ordinary. Some recent tidbits from the Fiji Daily Post:

CLEAN TEETH
17-Apr-2009 11:19 AM
VOLUNTEER FDP photographer, Max, reports that he has cleaned his teeth.
‘It was new experience for me’, the young scholar admitted, ‘but I did it’.
Asked which teeth he cleaned, Max pointed to his front, top row.
‘These ones’, he enthused, ‘these are the ones I cleaned’.
An inspection of the alleged clean teeth confirmed his claim.
Max further conceded to fellow reporters that he will also try ‘taking a shower’.
When asked when, he said, ‘one day’.

Man gets on bus
15-Apr-2009 11:44 AM
IN what is believed to be the first reported incident of its kind, a man got on a bus yesterday.
“It was easy,” he said.
“I just lifted one leg up and then the other and I was on”.
Fiji Daily Post reporters found witnesses willing to confirm the happening.
“Yes”, said one who asked to remain anonymous, “I saw him get on the bus”.
Another witness who also preferred to remain unidentified told this newspaper it was “the early morning bus”.
“I was waiting opposite the shop when I saw him run to catch the bus.”
What happened next was a remarkable feat – the man actually got on the bus, we believe.
Students from a local school who had been waiting for two hours in the rain for the bus also confirmed that they saw the man board.
“We are happy for him”, one student remarked in terms reminiscent of Neil Armstrong (the first man to step onto the moon): “it may be one small step for him, but it is one giant step for the people of Fiji”.

Paint dry
15-Apr-2009 11:33 AM
PAINT has apparently dried on his old couch, Max reports.
Given the job of painting the couch, Max was excited at the prospect of the paint drying.
But when asked how it dried, he was nonplussed.
“It just went on wet, but after about four hours, it started to dry”.
“That was when I realised, paint dries,” the young scholar observed.
Fiji Daily Post asked Max if he intended to do more painting.
“Oh yes,” he replied, “I like watching paint dry.”

I particularly love the "one small step" line.

I can't see any such stories after the 18th of April, but the old ones haven't been purged either. Hmmm.

HT: Kiwiblog