Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Kiwi earthquake humour

Courtesy of Twitter, best of #eqnzpickuplines . A couple are slightly dodgy; avert your glance if needed.

@kimpotter: can i interest u in 30 seconds of violent shuddering followed by the inability to go anywhere for weeks?

@twocolddogs: Do you want to come back to my neighbours place for a drink?

@zeborah: Your sign must be Orion cause you're turning me on [Orion is the power line company, working overtime trying to get us all connected. But still no power in South Brighton.]

@zeborah: Have you got water? Wanna take a shower together anyway?

@samjarman: I've inspected you and you're safe for entry

@vaughndavis: Are you sure you're from Christchurch? Because you don't have any faults.

@majicDave: Roses are red, violets are blue, the power is out, there's nothing better to do.

@fauxparse: I've been inspecting you from across the room, and baby, you got a green sticker.

@thunk244: I love the way your eyes rattle in the moonlight

@keith_ng: I can maintain continuous lateral slip-strike displacement for over two minutes.

@kimpotter: It's not the size, it's the location and the depth...

@kiwicomedy: "Safe? How can I promise it will be SAFE?"

@keith_ng: Oh yeah? It's a once-in-500-year event for me too.

@kiwi_chatter: Roses are red, violets are blue. When I dive under the desk, I hope you're there too.

@samjarman: Push me. And then just touch me. Till I can get my liquefaction.

@wendywings: You know Ken Ring predicted we would meet tonight give or take five days either side.

@robyngallagher: "Girl, I'll make u wetter than Bexley"

@bazfreq: I won't neglect your eastern suburbs.

@donkey: I've lost my address. Can I have yours?

@thunk244: You're a woman that hasn't showered for seven days, I'm a man...

@HouseSell: I have got my own private portaloo and soft paper

@GrowFromHereNZ: mm, you smell like babywipes and dettol

As best I can tell, it all started with @Tarquin_Death's Friday 8:50 PM post: Hey, baby, wanna shift my liquefaction? #eqnzpickuplines

Thanks Tarquin!

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